Celestial

This week's color is a slightly dark sort of primary blue called "Celestial".  There's one clear meaning I'm getting out of this one: remember God this week!  Most times I try to lose weight I am okay for the first week but the second week all my self-stoppers come into play.  "You did well, time for a break".  "You did well, now there's pressure to do that well again, you can't take it!"  "Last week wasn't spectacularly perfect which means you're a failure, which means you should just not even try".  I could go on, but I'm sure most of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Even now I'm full of chocolate and burritos.  Why?  Because I have the added excuse-factory of piles and piles of homework.  I procrastinated, as usual, and now I feel overwhelmed.  My solution was eating.  That was the wrong choice, and I'm glad I made myself admit to it because now I feel like maybe I can get past it tonight, right now.  But what always, always works, when I need to stop and turn around, is prayer.  I know not everyone understands and I'm not going to get preachy, I'm just explaining why I need this color this week.  Week Two is the week I usually give up and fade out.  I need a lot of strength this week.  I didn't pray at all today and it didn't go very well.  (Hear that me?  The colors are no good if you don't listen!  lol)  So now I'm going to do that, and try to focus on studying instead of chocolate and burritos. 

I had a goal of doing another six pounds this week.  You can predict when I'm going to sabatoge myself; it's usually when I tried to make a goal for myself.  Sure enough, like clockwork, today happened.  It's me trying to let me off the hook.  "There's no way you can lose six pounds now, not after today, game's over, go home everybody".  But if I let myself off the hook then I will have reinforced that sabatoging behavior (like I always have) so I'm not going to do that this time.  I hereby STILL have the goal for myself of losing another six pounds this week.  I'll be okay if I don't meet that goal.  I'll be okay because that's what I've decided and I'll still love myself.  So with constant prayer I know tomorrow and the rest of the week I'm going to really impress myself with my new levels of self-control.

Good luck to you all,
JadeAmber